Poly and Kinky

Photo courtesy of Deviant Succubus Welcome to Elust 123 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #124? Start with the rules , come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ Bittersweet Symphony Breast cancer awareness – check your boobs The devil is in the detail… ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ Metamorphosis: Fat, Fit and In Between Contraception- life without birth control All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “ read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Erotic Non-Fiction Take It To The Limit Marshmallows Spank me Red ...

In my ongoing quest to find another D/s relationship, I've talked to a lot of men who identify as submissive online. A lot of these men view submission as a fetish and are therefore only interested in being submissive when it will get their dick hard, which is valid, but not what I'm looking for. The problem with that is that some of them are either very good at hiding this fact or have so little self-awareness that they don't realize it themselves and think they are ready to be submissive inside and outside the bedroom. It's hot to think of giving up control of your orgasms. Being required to ask for permission to orgasm or being locked in a chastity device appeals to a lot of submissive leaning men. The thought of performing oral servitude for hours seems hot in theory as well. He thinks " surely if I go down on her she'll reward me with an orgasm too" or "it would be so hot to feel myself pushing against the binding of a chastity device" b...

It’s been far too long since someone rested their cheek on my foot, wrapped their arms around my waist and held on seeking comfort after harshness. Too long since I’ve released the part of myself that stays pent up much of the time. She who lives in a cave and likes the dark. She who craves to gnaw on her prey’s bones extracting every bit they’ll give up. She whose spine tingles with delight as those red marks appear, as the blood comes to the skin as the gasps and moans grow louder and more abandoned. She who delights in the sight of a wrist wrapped in a cuff or rope but even more in a naked wrist held in place only by the desire to please her. She who revels in the sight of the back of a man’s neck, so strong but so vulnerable and much more handsome wrapped in a collar.

My main kink is for reactions. I adore those little gasps of breath, the whimpers, the moment when the skin starts to pinken. If I touch Schatzi in a certain way, he tenses his entire body for a moment, then melts into relaxation before experiencing a full body shudder. It's absolutely delicious! I also quite like the idea of chastity cages. The idea of locking up what's mine when I'm not using it has an appeal. It's also a tangible reminder of roles. But I hesitate because I love reactions and orgasms cause wonderfully entertaining reactions. I'm also rather a fan of the desperate pleading to be allowed to orgasm. I had an experience a few days ago that may have changed my mind. The frustrated whimper from between my legs when he wanted so badly to be inside of me was one of the most delicious sounds I've ever heard. Men are so fun to torture!

When it comes to my partner pleasing me, (through massage, all over kisses, stroking, oral, or sex), I prefer to just lay back and enjoy. There seems to be this idea that the Domme in question is going to oversee everything. Yes, lick in X spot for Y minutes and 33 seconds and hold your hand thusly while kneeling in this fashion. That's just not me at all. I want to see what he'll do to please me, I want to be surprised by a sudden change or teased a bit on occasion. It just seems somehow more submissive to me when it's his idea to do something he knows I'll like rather than following an order. Plus, it forces him to pay attention to my reactions, and thus be entirely focused on me, rather than counting in his head and wondering if he's doing it right. Also, boys can get pretty creative when you give them some leeway and I might learn I liked something I had no idea about. Being petted to sleep, for example. I'm addicted.

I've been chatting with a new potential submissive partner lately. Last night before I crawled into my nice warm bed, (that I am in complete love with lately, by the way) I thought I'd send him a message to tell him to sleep naked, as a fun and easy show of submission. At the last minute, I decided I was feeling a bit more on the sadistic side. And a little shaky in my confidence that people can actually be submissive when they're not getting orgasms in return, due to recent interactions with a man whose submission didn't exactly groove on the same wavelength as my dominance. And so, instead of asking him to sleep in the nude, I sent a text telling him to make himself a pallet on the floor next to his bed and sleep there. Then I waited for his response. Since this is a relatively new interaction I figured I'd get one of three possible responses: 1. OMG, I'll go grab some nettles to sleep on. Are you sure you wouldn't rather chain me in the basement aft...

Does a dominant (top) need to be a submissive (bottom) first? That's a question that pops up in the BDSM community quite a bit. I'm not sure where that idea started but it's out there and it doesn't seem to go away. Personally, I don't think it is necessary and since I'm one of those "this is what and who I am" people it would be silly for me to advocate for it. If a person is dominant, then they are dominant. They're not going to be happy being submissive to someone else just for the sake of "earning their stripes". I don't understand that thought process at all, but I also don't understand switches either so it might just be me. That said, I did switch, once. I started my official journey into public BDSM land as a submissive. I've told the story before, so for simplicity's sake; I liked making people happy, I had been tying myself up for years, and, it seemed every other female was submissive, so I was obviously sub...

I couldn't sleep last night. My bed smelled like HappyClouds or whatever the laundry detergent is called. I much prefer it when it smells like the people who have been in it. Perhaps it's the feral, primal, cavewoman in me but I love smells. Though it may disgust others I prefer my bed to smell like a combination of myself and my partners. I like the lingering scent of their cologne or shampoo or soap. I want it to smell of their skin, their sweat, and sex. But, I reluctantly wash my bedding, as is expected (by whom? I don't know) and then I'll toss and turn for a night or two until one of them comes and smells it up again for me :)

I'm a caregiver by nature and I like the people I like to be happy. In my Pre-Schatzi relationships, I tended to end up playing almost a service-top role more than a dominant one. There's nothing wrong with that but it didn't meet all my relationship needs. But I was, I don't know, oblivious (?) at the moment. When I looked for Schatzi I intentionally looked for a relationship with a caregiver (handler) role. I went into it with an expectation of doing the petting, the cuddling, the pampering. And I fucking love it! But I began to realize that I really did want that pampering for myself too. So I began to look for another with a very specific set of wants that revolved mostly around my not doing much but being waited on hand and foot :) Which isn't very practical full time but is a nice thought. I posted an ad at a few places and got one particularly interesting response. Which lead to a meeting and, eventually, to my lying naked in bed being petted to s...

Photo courtesy of A Leap of Faith Welcome to Elust 111 - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #112? Start with the rules , come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ The Promotion Getting Lost in a Good Book Hatefuck ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ Demonised 9 Things New Sex Bloggers Need to Know ~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~ Tales *You really should consider adding your popular posts here too* All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “ read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Erotic Fiction After the P...

He's been away for several days, in that time he's barely eaten, not had a bed or regular food, and hardly slept. He is sunburned and he's cut his finger badly. He is exhausted and what does he do? He kneels at my feet and begs to give me an orgasm with nothing in return except the pleasure of giving me pleasure. What did I do to deserve this? I'm so thankful we found each other. I love my baby puppy.

S is for Safewords Safewords are a tool used by submissives/bottoms to let their dominant/top know how they're feeling as the scene is happening. You can come up with any word you want in your dynamic but for the sake of simple, easy to remember words, most people use: Red - this needs to stop now!   Yellow - I'm getting close to my limit of this activity, lighten up or switch to something else Green - I'm good to go, please continue. Personally, I've never used green. It just seems like a waste of time when I can say, "you ok?" and he can answer. Or, ya know, I'm paying attention to my partner. I recently read a post by Domina Jen about safewords. I agree with what she says there. Though I've always given submissives and bottoms I've played with the option of safewording (red, yellow) all I think I've ever really gotten was a yellow. I do, what Domina Jen says she does; I listen and watch my partner. This is one of ...

R is for Rules Rules can apply to both kink and polyamorous relationships. It is obvious that this post got started, queued up and published without being finished. I'm not in the headspace to finish it right now but I'm leaving it as a placeholder. I'll come back to it.

N is for Not New I read a lot of kink and D/s blogs, guess I should make one of those "blogs I follow" things and I'm semi-active in my local community; I've been noticing something lately. At the last munch I attended, which is a newer group that I'd never been to before, though I did know a few people there. We all went around and introduced ourselves, our kink selves, mostly. These introductions consisted of our scene names, who we were with, and how long we'd been what we are. No one said these were the things that should be included those are just the things people typically share. So in going around the table, I'm hearing names I immediately forget and relationships I'll have to get Wulf to remind me of later (the guy with the pineapple shirt was there solo, but the lady who ordered the huge ass pizza was there with the guy at the end of the table?) But what sticks with me is the amount of experience people have. I kept hearing "We...

M is for Mommy Before Schatzi came along I had no interest in ageplay. I wasn't repulsed by it, I'm a caregiver by nature, but since I raised a daughter, was a nanny and then a home health worker, I thought I'd had my fill of sippy cups and diapers. I'm not sure whats different about him that makes me want to explore that role. But I do. He's so stinkin adorable powdered and in a fresh diaper, wearing a cute onesie, with a pacifier hanging out of the corner of his mouth. I never thought I'd want a partner to call me Mommy, that's just weird, right? but I love it when he does. It makes me want to scoop him up and keep him safe forever.

L is for Love I love love. That's probably why I wanted to have a polyamorous relationship in the first place. I believe that love doesn't divide when you share it with others' it stretches and grows. If there is one thing our society needs right now, it's more love. Though I had relationships before him and was even married, I think Wulf is the first man I was IN love with, really. Before him, I was maybe in love with the thought of being in love but when I met him it was so much different. I can still remember the exact moment I fell in love with him. I can see every detail of the room, I remember what it smelled like, the temperature, everything. That moment is etched in my memory for all time. I wanted to spend every minute of every day with him, which was a problem since he lived 5 hours away, in another state. Long distances relationships are extremely hard but I think they make you focus on a genuine mental, emotional connection rather than just the ph...

Photo courtesy of Cammies on the Floor Welcome to Elust 107 - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #108? Start with the rules , come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ Baby making... I thought of GotN while fucking Man-struation ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ Room 401 Compost ~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~ The Shadows Fall Behind You *You really should consider adding your popular posts here too* All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “ read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!   Blogging How and If to C...

K is for Knowing Your Limits Needing to know your limits applies to both kink and multiple relationships.  Needing to know your limits in a kink situation should be pretty self-explanatory. You should go into a negotiation with a good idea of what you are willing to do, what you might do, and what you absolutely will not do. If you don't have a lot of experience with kink or don't have a lot of experience with real life kink if you have only been exploring online so far you need to sit down with a BDSM checklist  and make some decisions. First look for the things you like or are pretty sure you'll like, mark them off as doable! Then look for things that don't give you tingly feelings or that are actually revolting to you, those are your limits. There are two kinds of limits, Hard Limits are something that you absolutely have zero interest in doing, period. Examples of hard limits might be breath play or heavy bondage. Hard limits should be resp...

J is for Jingle What does jingle have to do with anything? I'm in love with reactions and noises. I've recently discovered that that love of noises extends from his vocalizations to ambient noises as well. I love hearing the chain jingle and clank. I love hearing the tag on his collar jingle when he moves suddenly or repetitively. Locks jingle against metal, buckles jingle against locks and chains. . . .

It's TMI Tuesday again!! 1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why? Rocky Road because it is a mix of different things and so am I. 2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship? I think I'm pretty good at reading my partner's reactions and figuring out what things they like best. 3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)? Right now, Envy. #PolyProblems 4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you? I'm loyal and honest, love communication and I'll be touching you all the time. 5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you? I think people that know me in real life think I'm more chaste and innocent than I am. Bonus:   When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see? Honestly? Sometimes. Depends on angle, lighting, flatteryness of clothing, etc. Want to play?  V...