Poly and Kinky

He's been away for several days, in that time he's barely eaten, not had a bed or regular food, and hardly slept. He is sunburned and he's cut his finger badly. He is exhausted and what does he do? He kneels at my feet and begs to give me an orgasm with nothing in return except the pleasure of giving me pleasure. What did I do to deserve this? I'm so thankful we found each other. I love my baby puppy.

I never thought of what it would be like to go through the grieving process while in a poly relationship. There had been secondary relationships that hadn’t worked out and had ended on both sides, which causes a grief of sorts, but this, the death of my primary partner for the last 20 years is much different, obviously. While sitting in the ER waiting room, lost, having no clue what to do, it was very nice to have someone who I’m completely comfortable with, come in, sweep me into a bear hug and let me cry on his shoulder. Having someone there who I trust completely allowed me to let him take the lead, speak to the staff and make decisions my brain just wasn’t up for yet. But it’s also lonely. He goes home to his primary relationship every day and I’m here alone. I like my alone time but being totally alone for such a long stretch is a bit more difficult, especially with my mind all over the place making arrangements, sorting the finances, deciding what to do with possession

T is for Time I've had a post about time bouncing around in my head for a bit. I was going to tell you about balancing time between two relationships, school, work, sleep,  hobbies, chores, etc etc. Then everything changed. Wulf passed away. He had been in poor health for a while so it wasn't a complete shock but it was very sudden. And now I have so much time. . .  The first couple of days were kept busy with friends and family calling and texting and visiting but now it's starting to get quiet. People are still checking in, but not as often. I'm on a bereavement leave from work and it's an off week for school. Now I have quiet and time to think. Time to be sad we didn't get to do all the things we'd planned. Time to be pissed off that he had to leave before I was ready for him to go. Time to mourn the man that I always said I couldn't imagine my life without. I cried last night when I wanted to watch Netflix and saw a show we'