Poly and Kinky

K is for Knowing Your Limits Needing to know your limits applies to both kink and multiple relationships.  Needing to know your limits in a kink situation should be pretty self-explanatory. You should go into a negotiation with a good idea of what you are willing to do, what you might do, and what you absolutely will not do. If you don't have a lot of experience with kink or don't have a lot of experience with real life kink if you have only been exploring online so far you need to sit down with a BDSM checklist  and make some decisions. First look for the things you like or are pretty sure you'll like, mark them off as doable! Then look for things that don't give you tingly feelings or that are actually revolting to you, those are your limits. There are two kinds of limits, Hard Limits are something that you absolutely have zero interest in doing, period. Examples of hard limits might be breath play or heavy bondage. Hard limits should be resp...

G is for Gags An important part of many people's BDSM play is the use of gags. Personally, I don't use them much because half my fun is eliciting noises and I don't want to hamper that. They can be used to keep the bottom quiet, for aesthetic/fantasy reasons, or humiliation. Gags are also used in PetPlay, especially ponyplay to help the pet player get into the proper headspace. Gags in the form of pacifiers are often used in AB/DL play as well. First, we'll talk about keeping the "victim" quiet. Most people don't have access to specially appointed play spaces with no neighbors or soundproofing. So it's simply practical to use gags to muffle some of the noises that may be created during a scene. Another reason people use gags is for the look of them. The bottom may have a fetish for being "forced" into a gag, the top may have a fetish for seeing someone gagged. Gags are commonly used for humiliation also. A bottom who cannot close t...

F is for Fido I'm cheating a little and sneaking pet play under F. I don't want to wait that long to talk about it and I plan to use P for polyamory. So pet play. . .  First and most importantly I need to stress that pet play (puppy play, kitten play, pony play, and other pet play) has nothing to do with actual animals. Well, other than acting like one. No actual animals are involved in anything sexual. There is no bestiality. I'm going to focus on puppy play because that's what I'm most interested in and experienced with but if you want to learn about some other forms of pet play you should check out: cPony for equine play Kitten play.com for kitten play (obviously) I'm not going to go into the history of people emulating animals for spiritual reasons since the beginning of time or the history of puppy play specifically beginning in gay leather culture. I want to focus on what puppy play is to me and why I'm drawn to it. I enjoy pup...