Control

In my ongoing quest to find another D/s relationship, I've talked to a lot of men who identify as submissive online. A lot of these men view submission as a fetish and are therefore only interested in being submissive when it will get their dick hard, which is valid, but not what I'm looking for.

The problem with that is that some of them are either very good at hiding this fact or have so little self-awareness that they don't realize it themselves and think they are ready to be submissive inside and outside the bedroom.

It's hot to think of giving up control of your orgasms. Being required to ask for permission to orgasm or being locked in a chastity device appeals to a lot of submissive leaning men. The thought of performing oral servitude for hours seems hot in theory as well. He thinks " surely if I go down on her she'll reward me with an orgasm too" or "it would be so hot to feel myself pushing against the binding of a chastity device" but when push comes to shoves it's not as hot as they thought to be told no.

I think I've stumbled on a way to weed them out.

In a recent conversation with a gentleman that appeared to be going rather well, I asked about his vanilla interests. Because I'm looking for a real long term relationship. . . He mentioned that he enjoys visiting beaches. When I responded that I dislike beaches he got very quiet very fast.

The idea that I may decide where when and how he could express his sexuality was hot to him, the idea that I might not permit him to return to his favorite vacation spot blew his mind. This person who was talking about giving up control of everything hadn't thought of the logistics of that.

What if she restricts me from doing something I really want to do?

Now, he's doing some self-examination and deciding if giving up control of everything is really what he wants. So, in the future, this is going to be a question for new people. What's your favorite place to visit? What happens if you're not permitted to go there ever again?

PS I wouldn't actually restrict someone from visiting the beach because it's not my cup of tea. There are things I would enjoy about a vacation at a beach, the water is pretty, the seafood is freshest, the constant breeze is nice. I just do want to get in the water or have sand stuck all over me.

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