In my ongoing quest to find another D/s relationship, I've talked to a lot of men who identify as submissive online. A lot of these men view submission as a fetish and are therefore only interested in being submissive when it will get their dick hard, which is valid, but not what I'm looking for.

The problem with that is that some of them are either very good at hiding this fact or have so little self-awareness that they don't realize it themselves and think they are ready to be submissive inside and outside the bedroom.

It's hot to think of giving up control of your orgasms. Being required to ask for permission to orgasm or being locked in a chastity device appeals to a lot of submissive leaning men. The thought of performing oral servitude for hours seems hot in theory as well. He thinks " surely if I go down on her she'll reward me with an orgasm too" or "it would be so hot to feel myself pushing against the binding of a chastity device" but when push comes to shoves it's not as hot as they thought to be told no.

I think I've stumbled on a way to weed them out.

In a recent conversation with a gentleman that appeared to be going rather well, I asked about his vanilla interests. Because I'm looking for a real long term relationship. . . He mentioned that he enjoys visiting beaches. When I responded that I dislike beaches he got very quiet very fast.

The idea that I may decide where when and how he could express his sexuality was hot to him, the idea that I might not permit him to return to his favorite vacation spot blew his mind. This person who was talking about giving up control of everything hadn't thought of the logistics of that.

What if she restricts me from doing something I really want to do?

Now, he's doing some self-examination and deciding if giving up control of everything is really what he wants. So, in the future, this is going to be a question for new people. What's your favorite place to visit? What happens if you're not permitted to go there ever again?

PS I wouldn't actually restrict someone from visiting the beach because it's not my cup of tea. There are things I would enjoy about a vacation at a beach, the water is pretty, the seafood is freshest, the constant breeze is nice. I just do want to get in the water or have sand stuck all over me.


  1. My favorite places to visit of late are all virtual vacations where I am able to spend an hour (and as I'm not in a D/s dynamic at present sometimes two hours...) or so learning something I didn't know that usually has no "value" to my life in that it won't necessarily help me find Her, beat the market index, or create a work of art, etc.

    These are the kinds of investments of my time are very much the ones that will be discarded so that I can focus on serving Her in ways she chooses. However, as much as I might enjoy finding out why Trotsky and Lenin couldn't keep the band together or some equally obscure story from our history, my emotional, intellectual, sexual and even spiritual needs are to submit to the control of the woman I love and serve. I admit the sexual aspects of the dynamic are amazing, and even when its average its amazing, but the part that is missing is the ability to focus on what and how you would direct me to serve and contribute to the things you want in life. (Even when it simply means you never wonder if there is a clean towel in the hamper again or don't know the price of gas because you never fill up your own car.)

    Blessed and haunted by being happiest when living in a D/s dynamic is not for sissies. Well, okay technically it is for some sissies but you get my point!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Micromanaging My Pleasure

Frustrated whimpers