Submission is a gift (trophy, medallion, donut, diploma, insert your preferred word here). Given to the D type that has earned the honor through displays of respect and the building of trust.

But what about dominance? It seems to me, as I search for a new partner, that a submissive is expected to withhold their virginity submissiveness for just the right Dom. They shouldn't just be a doormat and let just anyone walk over them or boss them around. I agree with that, btw, but what about the other side?

It seems I am expected to just suddenly take control of every situation, be my full on Domly Dom Domme self immediately once a submissive type person shows the slightest interest in me. Um, no.

If one can understand that submission must be earned, why is it so hard to see that dominance must be earned as well?


  1. Totally believe it is a two way street in this regard.



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