A is for aftercare
I've decided to write a blog post for each letter of the alphabet that relates to my life in kink or poly. I hope I'll be able to think of something for each letter, anyway. Here's the first:
First of all, aftercare is a very important thing. It's a time set aside, usually just after play, where the participants of the scene can take a breath, and reconnect with reality outside of headspace. It lets everyone calm down and receive reassurance if needed, it allows time for our bodies to reset and gives us time to notice if we've worked up and appetite or a thirst during our play.
How people choose to do their aftercare is as varied as our kinks. Some like cuddles and petting, blankets and stuffies. Others prefer a bottle of water and some space to get their thoughts together. Sometimes aftercare is applying a little first aid to your partner, sometimes it's a rundown of the scene and what you did and did not like about it. Sometimes it's a snack, sometimes it's a good laugh or cry.
I had a partner once whose aftercare need was a nap. He couldn't reset his brain back to being an independent person without having a little nap to separate the two sides of his personality. I've had partners who wanted to nuzzle up and float a little longer and I've had ones that were energized and ready to jump up and do errands immediately.
Everyone is different and their need for aftercare is different too. Some people say they don't need it at all and some tops say they don't provide it at all. Personally, I can't see myself getting someone to a good headspace and then abandoning them to float alone.
Aftercare can also take place days later with a check in phone call or text with the person you played with, a discussion about your play or things you liked and didn't like.
A is for Aftercare
I'm sure if you've spent any time with any kinky people online, or in person, you've heard of aftercare. Just in case you haven't I'll explain what it is to me here.First of all, aftercare is a very important thing. It's a time set aside, usually just after play, where the participants of the scene can take a breath, and reconnect with reality outside of headspace. It lets everyone calm down and receive reassurance if needed, it allows time for our bodies to reset and gives us time to notice if we've worked up and appetite or a thirst during our play.
How people choose to do their aftercare is as varied as our kinks. Some like cuddles and petting, blankets and stuffies. Others prefer a bottle of water and some space to get their thoughts together. Sometimes aftercare is applying a little first aid to your partner, sometimes it's a rundown of the scene and what you did and did not like about it. Sometimes it's a snack, sometimes it's a good laugh or cry.
I had a partner once whose aftercare need was a nap. He couldn't reset his brain back to being an independent person without having a little nap to separate the two sides of his personality. I've had partners who wanted to nuzzle up and float a little longer and I've had ones that were energized and ready to jump up and do errands immediately.
Everyone is different and their need for aftercare is different too. Some people say they don't need it at all and some tops say they don't provide it at all. Personally, I can't see myself getting someone to a good headspace and then abandoning them to float alone.
Aftercare can also take place days later with a check in phone call or text with the person you played with, a discussion about your play or things you liked and didn't like.
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