Breathing

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My mental illness has been winning the fight for control of my brain for the last 7 months or so. I would win a battle now and then, but the war raged on, and not in my favor. Then, I received new weapons which seemed to turn the odds to my favor. This grievously offended the monster I was fighting, and it doubled down on its attack. Over the last weekend, the fighting was very bad, and I was literally fighting for my life.

When I woke up this morning I listened to see what the asshole who lives in my brain had to say and it was quiet. I spent some time looking for it (it likes to hide and ambush) but it wasn’t anywhere nearby. I think it may have finally retreated to the little black crypt in lives in when it’s not trying to kill me. I know it’s still there and it will come out and attack one day when it senses weakness from me.

While it licks its wounds, I’m in charge of the brain and with no evil whispers in my ear, I’m ready to be myself again. I realize now that I shut everyone out, I didn’t write, I didn’t go to events, I didn’t do anything I didn’t have to do. I was fighting all the time and I had no energy left for anything but survival. But now I can breathe again.

I intend to enjoy it.

Comments

  1. subservboiNovember 30, 2019 at 8:16 AM

    I really appreciate you sharing this and you showed me something I didn't know before which is always good!

    Will be back to read about the parts of your mind I think are amazing!

    ReplyDelete

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