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Showing posts from May, 2018

C is for Chain

C is for Chain I am a female dominant. As such, I am very attracted to the idea that my submissive is bigger and stronger (and trained in ways to subdue people) yet still kneels at my feet.  It's the men are generally bigger and stronger thing that makes me love chain. It seems more fitting to capture all that primal maleness with heavy links of metal rather than cute scarves and simple rope.  Chain clanks with every movement, it weighs on the appendage it's attached to. It's impossible for him to forget it's there. Chain is strong. He is strong. It seems fitting.

B is for biting

B is for Biting I love to bite. I love to mark my territory. I love the reaction only a bite seems to draw out of someone. I love the wild cavewomaness of it.  I love the closeness of having someone's flesh between my teeth, my tongue tasting their skin, smelling them, hearing their noises. It's a five senses experience! I bite for comfort too. Gently holding a little bit of flesh between my teeth, not hurting, just holding it is comforting to me somehow. I still get the taste and the smell and the intimacy without them getting the pain. Usually, sometimes I just can't help myself!

A is for aftercare

I've decided to write a blog post for each letter of the alphabet that relates to my life in kink or poly. I hope I'll be able to think of something for each letter, anyway. Here's the first: A is for Aftercare I'm sure if you've spent any time with any kinky people online, or in person, you've heard of aftercare. Just in case you haven't I'll explain what it is to me here. First of all, aftercare is a very important thing. It's a time set aside, usually just after play, where the participants of the scene can take a breath, and reconnect with reality outside of headspace. It lets everyone calm down and receive reassurance if needed, it allows time for our bodies to reset and gives us time to notice if we've worked up and appetite or a thirst during our play. How people choose to do their aftercare is as varied as our kinks. Some like cuddles and petting, blankets and stuffies. Others prefer a bottle of water and some space to get their 

TMI Tuesday May 22nd 2018

It's TMI Tuesday again!  1. If you had a whole week (no work, no kids) to do things with your significant other, what would you do? Relax! Maybe camping together in a tent in the forest. Outdoor sex and coffee brewed over the campfire while we shiver in the morning. Maybe a luxurious hotel where we're pampered and massaged, take long hot baths and sit in the shade outside. 2. What is your idea of a long-term relationship? I'm not sure I understand this question, it's sort of right there in the name lol  My idea of a long-term relationship is one that lasts for a long time. 3. What is a healthy relationship? This one is easier. A healthy relationship is love trust and honesty. Sharing with your partner, caring about what they've got going on. 4. How did you meet your current (or last) lover? One I met in an online chat room 20 years ago, the other I met through an ad on Fetlife. 5. What is the first thing you do after having sex? Catch my breat

What's Poly, anyway?

My blog description says I'm poly, but what does that mean? The geek in me wants to tell you it's an amalgamation of greek and latin and it's a mushed together made up word. I'll resist though and simply tell you that poly means many and amor means love. So Polyamory means many loves. Outside of that basic description, it means different things to different people. Essentially it means that I, and my partners, believe that a person can be in love with more than one person at a time. For me, that means I have a primary relationship with Wulf but that we're both "allowed" to seek out other romantic relationships. In our dynamic, my partners aren't expected to be romantically or sexually active with Wulf. The same is true of his partners and me. Friendships are encouraged, of course, there is no sneaking around or secrets in poly. My other partners, right now that's Schatzi, are "allowed" to have romantic relationships outside of the one t

Not bad, but not good

I recently saw a post on Tumblr by user sunflorally  which said "Your relationship doesn't have to be toxic to be a bad one. It can be exhausting, loveless. And someone doesn't have to be terrible to you for you to leave them. If you aren't primarily happy in your relationship, you have a valid reason to not be in it. Don't beat yourself up because your situation "could be worse" if it isn't what you want, you don't have to stay in it."  I once ended a relationship just like that and felt incredibly guilty about it for a long time. He was a sweet, sensitive guy but being in a relationship with him was literally exhausting. We started out as a D/s couple, he as the submissive, of course, I was fairly new to being dominant to a partner so I had some confidence issues going in. I guess that's one of the reasons I let things slide as long as I did. The truth is, he just wasn't submissive. He, in my opinion, is a bottom in the bedro

TMI Tuesday

1. Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child? There are many, cartoons were a big deal back then. I suppose I'd have to pick He-Man. That cartoon got me, my first boyfriend, :P 2. What makes you cry? I never used to cry but as I've let people into my life and taken down some of my walls I cry more easily. I cry at sad parts of movies, books, and shows, but I also cry when I'm angry which is incredibly frustrating because you can't yell and blow your nose at the same time! 3. What similarity between you and your significant other do you love? I currently have two significant others. With Wulf, it's a love of nature and geekdom. With Schatzi, it's a love for cuddles and snuggles. 4. What characteristic do you admire in others that you feel you are lacking? I admire people's ability to be outgoing, to make small talk with strangers. I have trouble making small talk with close friends, much less strangers. 5. If you could eliminate o

Shopping While Poly

This is an old post from my old blog.  Yesterday we went grocery shopping as a group for the first time. It only makes sense as we're doing the "intentional family" thing and my boyfriend is eating here more and more often. But it was slightly surreal. I'm used to hubby adding things to the cart without my notice but to have two of them doing it? Kinda like shopping with kids. I'm not sure we were ever all together at once. Hubby would find something interesting and lag behind to look at it, Boyfriend would get tired of watching me compare prices and wander off for a bit. I'd hug or kiss whoever happened to be nearest when the mood struck. At times I'd ask one or the other which flavor they wanted. If someone were to pay close attention, I'd imagine they be slightly confused.

Memories

Now for something a little different. . . She stirred and tried to stretch. Something cold and hard pressed against the soles of her feet; and as she shifted there was a similar feeling along the naked skin of her lower back. In a moment of panic she snapped awake, her eyes slow to focus in the dim light. She saw bars, blacker against the room's darkness, and then it all came rushing back to her. She had met Christopher a few months ago, at a Farmer's Market of all places. She had been looking over the bounty overflowing from the back of the farmer's pick-up truck when he'd stepped up behind her and made some wise-ass comment about squeezing melons. It caught her so off guard that she burst out laughing, much more so than the joke deserved. She turned to face him, still giggling and saw his eyes. They were a beautiful ice blue and there was just something about them that made her laughter die in her throat and a blush come to her cheeks. She looked away quickly, f

The Strap-on and Giggling

When the strapon came in the mail I tried it on and giggled. When I bought a new dildo for it, I tried it on and giggled. When I wanted a picture of it, I put it on and giggled. But when I used it for it's intended purpose last Friday, when I was in the proper frame of mind, I didn't giggle at all. I was too busy listening to those lovely grunts; muffled as they were by the mattress. I did giggle later when he got the hiccups while wearing the ball gag, but that's different!

Bedtime

I'm tired. You know what to do. As you rise from your spot in front of the couch you gently place a kiss on my knee. You know that worshipful kisses are always permitted. I smile to myself as I listen to your bare feet pad across the kitchen. After a few more lazy minutes with my book, I follow you into the bedroom. In the soft light of the bedside lamp I see the blankets are turned down, the pillows are fluffed. It looks so inviting. But for now, I'm more interested in the man kneeling with downcast eyes by my bed. I stand in the doorway for a moment enjoying the site of the lamplight reflecting off the metal collar around your neck but also making you wait. You know I'm there, watching, and I can see subtle shifts in your body language as you slip deeper into your submissive headspace. You're opening up to me silently pleading. I cross the room and sit on the bed beside you. I stroke your hair, your check lightly and you press yourself closer to my hand wanting a

On Power and the Exchange Thereof

Kink is fun. Spanking, pegging, blindfolds and ball gags are all fun. A. Lot. Of. Fun. But what really gets my juices flowing (literally and figuratively) is the power exchange. To be my happiest Domly self I don't need any tools or outfits, hell, I don't even need the sex. I need the power. In previous relationships (or things that could've become relationships) I've said I wanted to control. But I realize now that that is not entirely accurate. Which has probably screwed me a time or two? Telling someone you want control implies that you want to control what they wear, eat, do with their free time, or the frequency with which they orgasm. But what I actually want is the power. More specifically I want the power to choose what I do and do not want to control. Even more specifically I want/need someone to GIVE me that power. For me, it needs to be their choice to submit to me. I need someone to be mine but I also need them request to be mine, to offer themselves

Pleasures

You're in pain. Your hands are clenched, your body is rigid, your breathing is ragged. You're unrestrained. You could tell me to stop. You could defend yourself. You could get up and walk away. But you lie there and let me hurt you and it's absolutely delicious. Occasionally your hands move to protect yourself and I wait. I know it's hard to lie still. And I get a fresh surge of tingles when you move them away again, opening yourself to more. Thank you.

Please

I love hurting you. I love it when your teeth clench, your eyebrows pull together, and your whole body tenses but most of all, I love that look in your eyes. You keep repeating "please please please". Finally, I ask "please what? Please stop, please more?" All you can do us answer breathily "I don't know" and I laugh at you and pull off a clamp. Delicious.

Kissing

To me kissing is one of the most intimate things I can do. I can count the number of men I've kissed on one hand. There are people out there who have had my mouth on most areas of their bodies, but not their lips. But. You were kneeling there, hooded with only your mouth free. I was pulling hard on the chain between your nipple clamps. You tried to resist moving forward. (I never get tired of watching the internal battle to stay still) Your lips parted as you gasped with the pain. Eventually, blind and in pain, you stumbled closer to me. And as I leaned forward listening to your moans your mouth was right there. Open slightly, tongue quickly licking over them, soft, and inviting. And so I kissed you. I felt the shift move through your body as I breathed your breath, caught your moans in my mouth. And now I can't stop kissing you, even when your poor lips are bruised with bite marks.

After

I've said it before. I love to hurt you. I love watching you struggle to stay still for me. I love hearing your panting, your moans, your whispers. I love that you reach for me in your pain and wonder if you're even aware that you do that. I love watching the marks appear, using your flesh as my canvas. But my absolute favorite part is the after. Finally unfettered you melt into me trying to get as close as possible. Your eyes red and wet and so very expressive. Your lips soft and needy. You seem so raw, so small. I let you dissolve into me. Pet and cuddle. Occasionally pinch a welt or a bite mark just to feel a quiet moan against my neck. It makes me greedy for more.

Why now?

I hesitated to start this blog because I didn't think I had anything to offer. I thought more about it and realized that: I have had kink leanings since I can remember I've been in kinky relationships since I became sexually active  I've been involved in BDSM for 2 decades  I've been in a poly relationship for 15 years I've battled mental illness I've been through some really scary health situations I've dealt with mental, sexual, and physical abuse and supported others as they dealt with them I've raised a daughter I'm comfortable with myself and where I am in the world I guess I do have something to say.

Sleep and Control

Watching you sleep. You've turned your back on me. I can just see the outline of your body in the almost dark. I want to trail my fingers along that line. Along the side of your head, down over your neck, especially your neck, over your shoulder and down the length of your arm lying on top of the covers. You need your sleep and I've had my fun, had my hands on and in you and now it's your time to rest. So I'll resist touching. I won't trace over the marks on your back, I won't wrap my hands around your throat, won't shove my fingers almost too far into your mouth. I'll resist your poor swollen and tender nipples and I'll refuse to think about the parts of you under the sheets. I have to close my eyes now. Self-control is hard.

Submission

I love it when I'm playing with you. Running my hands all over you, nails scratching lightly there, digging in here, pinching, petting, caressing. Playing with your neck, always with your neck. You make such lovely sounds when I do. I love feeling you shudder and watching your lip tremble (when you're not biting it). But the very best is when I look at up a little a farther and see that you're watching me with those beautiful eyes of yours. That you're enjoying the pleasure I get when playing with what is mine. My baby. My puppy. My Schatzi.

Tease

I'm touching him and he wants to cum. But I'm teasing him. Denying him. I love the point where he stops flirting, his hands stop touching me and start gripping the sheets, the ropes, the windowsill, anything within reach. He's trying so hard to hold his orgasm back but I'm not making it easy. I love it when the casual requests become desperate pleas. And then watching it get harder to think, harder to make the words. All his focus is on being my good boy. And I'll let him cum because I love the noises he makes. And he is my very good boy. But not yet. I'll just enjoy myself a little longer.

A Confession

I'm a Domme and I like blow jobs. That may sound odd. I know a lot of people equate fellatio with submission. I don't. Blow jobs make me feel powerful. I like to bite and now I have the most delicate part of his anatomy in my mouth, between my teeth. With tongue and teeth and lips I can control exactly how much pleasure and/or pain he experiences. My hands are free to touch his most intimate areas in just the way I want if I want. I can make it a quick trip over a waterfall, a roller coaster of ups and downs, or a long walk along a tightrope of a chasm of pleasure. I can push him over the edge and stop, ruining his fun or keep going until he becomes over sensitive and can't keep still. Or I can just stop when I feel like it, leaving him gasping and thrusting for more. Power.

Mine

I think about interrupting him in the middle of his sentence. I love hearing him talk but I love his reactions too. So I place my hand on his throat, lightly and he falters, almost forgetting what he's saying but manages to continue. I run my thumb along the edge of his jaw and his eyelids flutter. I press the rest of my fingers along the other side of his neck and he gasps. I squeeze a bit and he finally loses his train of thought. I dig my nails gently into the tender flesh and turn his head toward me. His eyelids flutter, he shudders and looks at me "that way" through half closed eyes. He's more than a foot taller and much stronger. He's the one who pulled me into his lap but I'm still in charge. He's mine.

2 AM

I told him to come wake me up when he got off work. I also told him to be naked when he did it. I woke up to the chime from my phone that lets me know he’s arrived. I get giddy when I hear that noise. I heard his key in the lock downstairs and then his footsteps as he ran upstairs. I smiled to myself in the dark and pretended to be asleep while he made so much noise stripping! First, the boots that must be un-velcroed and unzipped, and then dropped deafeningly on the hardwood floor. Then the pants that weigh at least 22 pounds and clang when they hit the floor because of all the stuff he carries. I lay there pretending to sleep, facing the wall, even though he surely knows I’m awake by now. He removes the quieter clothes, the mattress shifts, and then his skin is against mine, his arm is wrapped completely around me, and his lips are on my shoulder. He says he loves it when my hands are on him. I love it when his are on me.