H is for Honesty

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H is for Honesty

Most of my recent ABC's posts have been kink related, this one is about something vital to both kink and poly; honesty.

Honesty is to communication what multiplication is to calculus. If you can’t be honest, you can’t communicate. Honesty is the minimum, not the maximum; there is more to communication than just honesty.
–Jenna Medaris


I feel that honesty is of the utmost importance in any relationship but especially in a kink and/or polyamorous relationship! Both of these relationship types require a lot of trust and communication and honesty is the key to both. Honesty is not only about not actively lying to your partner(s) but also not purposefully keeping things from them.

When someone is dishonest in a poly relationship it can create feelings of jealousy and mistrust. If they're sexually active with multiple partners and not using protection dishonesty could bring disease to their other relationships or experience an unwanted pregnancy.

When someone is dishonest in a kink relationship it can be dangerous. Limits and boundaries need to be discussed and one needs to be honest in these conversations or they might end up doing something they're uncomfortable with. Also, people need to be honest about their level of experience especially with more advanced techniques like blood or breath play.

Honesty is the cornerstone of communication and communication is the basis for everything in both poly and kink dynamics. Any relationship built on dishonesty has a flawed foundation and will falter and collapse if major work isn't done to strengthen that foundation.

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