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Control

In my ongoing quest to find another D/s relationship, I've talked to a lot of men who identify as submissive online. A lot of these men view submission as a fetish and are therefore only interested in being submissive when it will get their dick hard, which is valid, but not what I'm looking for. The problem with that is that some of them are either very good at hiding this fact or have so little self-awareness that they don't realize it themselves and think they are ready to be submissive inside and outside the bedroom. It's hot to think of giving up control of your orgasms. Being required to ask for permission to orgasm or being locked in a chastity device appeals to a lot of submissive leaning men. The thought of performing oral servitude for hours seems hot in theory as well. He thinks " surely if I go down on her she'll reward me with an orgasm too" or "it would be so hot to feel myself pushing against the binding of a chastity device" b...
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Not Micromanaging My Pleasure

When it comes to my partner pleasing me, (through massage, all over kisses, stroking, oral, or sex), I prefer to just lay back and enjoy. There seems to be this idea that the Domme in question is going to oversee everything. Yes, lick in X spot for Y minutes and 33 seconds and hold your hand thusly while kneeling in this fashion. That's just not me at all. I want to see what he'll do to please me, I want to be surprised by a sudden change or teased a bit on occasion. It just seems somehow more submissive to me when it's his idea to do something he knows I'll like rather than following an order. Plus, it forces him to pay attention to my reactions, and thus be entirely focused on me, rather than counting in his head and wondering if he's doing it right. Also, boys can get pretty creative when you give them some leeway and I might learn I liked something I had no idea about. Being petted to sleep, for example. I'm addicted.
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Frustrated whimpers

My main kink is for reactions. I adore those little gasps of breath, the whimpers, the moment when the skin starts to pinken. If I touch Schatzi in a certain way, he tenses his entire body for a moment, then melts into relaxation before experiencing a full body shudder. It's absolutely delicious! I also quite like the idea of chastity cages. The idea of locking up what's mine when I'm not using it has an appeal. It's also a tangible reminder of roles. But I hesitate because I love reactions and orgasms cause wonderfully entertaining reactions. I'm also rather a fan of the desperate pleading to be allowed to orgasm. I had an experience a few days ago that may have changed my mind. The frustrated whimper from between my legs when he wanted so badly to be inside of me was one of the most delicious sounds I've ever heard. Men are so fun to torture!
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